Rules of Thumb – Some of the many lines you’ll hear, but should not to belive

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Many years ago a liberterian told me a set of useful moral lesson, dressed up as a joke, about 3 lines never to trust when you hear them:

  1. The cheque is in the post.
  2. I’ll respect you in the morning.
  3. We are from the government, and we are here to help.

I’ve found, for better and worse, that those lines are all very true.

Over time, I’ve added other useful lines, that when I hear them, reminds me to be on my guard:

  1. From Ministers/Politicians: We support you and we will vote against the proposal.
  2. From Companies: If you do this we will close down our operations and leave Europe/country/constiutency.
  3. From Companies: This environmental law will lead to the end of economic life in europe.
  4. From NGOs: If you don’t pass this environmental measure, all life in europe will end/millions die/ a species become extinct tomorrow.
  5. From officials/political staff: Yes, I’d love to discuss your 200 page excel sheet/ equation.
  6. From Governments/Commission: Of course we intend to enforce/implement the measure… 5 years after the deadline.
  7. From too many: We have the data /evidence to support our position, but it is too sensitive to hand over/I’d have to kill you if I gave you the information (for the James Bond wanabees).
  8. From Companies/NGOs: My really obscure/technical/niche issue is the issue everyone is talking about.
  9. From Companies/NGOs: Did you need read about our exciting press release in Whips & Rubber Weekly.
  10. From Companies/NGOs: Our 50 page position paper is all they need to get the decision maker to change their mind.
  11. From Companies/NGOs: The Roger Helmer effect. Some isolated MEP supports us, we are now going to win.
  12. From consultants: You’ll win the vote if you put out this (expensive) Tik Tok video.
  13. From too many: If you believe it, it will happen. Faith will get us there. Or some variation of self-help brought to lobbying and campaigning.