There seems no better way to destroy support and dissolve hard won trust than to be rude to them.
It is a problem when someone is being rude, abusive or threatening to the person making or influencing a decision.
Now, I know there must be some cultures where being rude and abusive about people, to their face, is a sign of endearment and respect. I just have not yet worked out what country has that culture. If you know of one, please let me know.
Here are some instances I’ve had a front ring seat to:
I’ve met with lobbyists who felt comfortable enough to share their disdain for the Irish and Catholics. They seemed oblivious to the fact I belong to the same group.
I’ve witnessed an amazing own goal in a meeting with the late Tony Long of WWF. Someone, who wanted to work closely with WWF, shared their unfiltered dislike of one of the founders of the Club of Rome. The same person was a good friend of Tony. A promising collaboration ended in an instant.
I’ve sat in too many meetings as a Commission official, Political Adviser and lobbyist when a form of political madness descends on someone to pour verbal bile against the European project. It is a form of political suicide that I’ve never seen anyone recover from.
When Climate Change deniers think they are in safe company and open up, failing to realise that one of the senior officials behind the policy is sat opposite them, you realise any work improving relations has been set back 10 years.
For those who find it hard not to filter their real and often personal views, I can only one question: “Are you married/in a relationship?”
If you have such people in your ranks who want to share their bigotry, my only recommendation is keep them away from anyone who can influence or make a decision. They’ll be the political death of you.